wow, i haven't been on in a while. I used to go on this more then once a day, but now i have school, and homework. I also got a myspace and facebook, so i've been on those a lot.

let's update:
Homework is crazy. Already i have had to write 4 papers and i have a 3-4 page paper due tuesday. I'm not to worried about it, because it's for history, and one of the history papers i wrote at midnight, half asleep, and completely incoherent and somehow got a 97 on it. I didn't actually read what i had written until he gave it back, and it had a LOT of grammical mistakes, which he said he was a stickler for. Does that make sense? Not really, but hey, i got a 97. anyways, i almost don't have a life because of all the homework. I always heard junior year was the hardest, but i don't think i realized how true it was until now. It will calm down after the first couple of months but its taking to long.

boys, well, i don't think of that one boy anymore, he didn't join marching band so it was easy to get over him. Jessi's cousin kyle asked me out and i politely declined. I haven't talked to jessi's other cousin Lucus in a long time so i think it's safe to say that is going nowhere. Now, i have this friend, kalab. he is my best guy friend, and i don't think he'll be anything more then that, but we are really close, and i can't help but thinking what if. but i already know the answer so i'm gonna try not to go there. there is also one boy that everyone loves. he has a crush on me, but he annoyes the shit out of me. I can't be mean, because then everyone would get mad at me.

me and ashley are still bery close. i was having doubts that she still thought of me as her best friend, but now i believe i still am. At least, i think i'm one of them. And she's still me best friend, obviously. Jessi D is my second best friend, which i think works because i am her second best friend. Steph moved back from everywhere and we are pretty close, so she is one of my best friends too. So is Jess S. and Kalab.

MArching band is half fun half fucking frustrating.

my brother is now a freshmen. He has new glasses and is getting braces on thursday. i feel bad for him, but i don't think he can see that behind my laughing :)

My family is still falling apart. My grandfather is now in the hospital. He has finally decided to give up drinking and give living a shot, but he has/had cancer and other stuff and is not doing to well. Hopefully he fights hard enough.

i feel so loved, because i have so many friends and nobody hates me, at least not to my face. i'm also getting more outgoing. 

My family is scewed up. Shall I explain?

Dad's side:
My dad's grandmother, my great grandmother, is still alive, barely. She has alzheimers, dementia, and other diseases that are slowly killing her. Her daughter, my grandmother, Meme, takes care of her. Since my great grandmother needs constent attention and Meme doesn't want to put her in a nursing home, my Meme is stuck at home all day, with a mother who doesn't remember who she is. I've seen my greatgrandmother yell at Meme, telling her she hated her and she wished she was dead. Pleasant. This makes my Meme very grumpy all the time. My grandfather, Popeye, is also fading. He seems to have given up on life. All he does now is sleep and drink. He refuses to go to the hospital. This adds to my Meme's stress because she has to take care of him as well. She is also mad because she thinks he gave up on her as well. He still loves her, but it doesn't seem to be enough for him to get better. This makes her bitter. Today, she said right in front of him that she never loved him and that she married him because she was bored. I could tell he was hurt, but he didn't say anything. 
My dad has two brothers. My uncle Eddie and his wife Chissy live with Meme, because they can't afford a house of their own. My uncle Eddie is a gambler, and he tends to shirk off things he should be doing for things he wants to do (fishing). I know he and my aunt Chrissy aren't doing well. I would not be surprised to find out Chrissy is having an affair. The sad thing is, I don't think Eddie would be surprised either. 
My dad's other brother, Mikey, is worse. A couple years ago we thought he had straightened up. He was a cop, had a wife, Kim, and a new born girl, Paige. But, he quit his job because he didn't want his family to get hurt. After that, he got divorced (this would be his second divorce). Now he is a bartender, with a new girlfriend. Oh! wanna hear a funny story? Thanksgiving. My former aunt Kim comes with Paige and Mike comes with his new girlfriend. Guess what her name was? KIM!! And whats weirder? They were all going to go out later, to some club. Together, the three of them. Trust me, everyone at thanksgiving was scratching their heads. 
That's basically my dad's side. 
My mom's side...
She isn't talking to both of her sisters and her father. Her and her brother are fine, for now. 
My mother and her father aren't talking because he blames her mother for their seperation, even though he cheated on her. My mom is very close to her mom, and her dad tends to talk trash about her mom a lot. My mom's sister, Tina, is close to my dad, so naturally she got mad at my mom for upsetting him. Tina is very stubborn and bossy and gets mad at my mom a lot because she won't take her bullshit. I'm not saying my mom is a saint, but my aunt Tina can make my dad blow up, and my dad is a very calm person. My aunt Tina just got married, and her new husband already has 4 kids. one isn't really his but she is still a part of the family. two of them are the most annoying kids I have ever met. They're... frustrating. 
Then there is my aunt Sarah. She has never been married, but she lived with her abusive boyfriend, Rick, for a very long time. My favorite cousin, Chucky, is her son (not ricks). He dropped out of high school and moved to north dakota to follow his girl friend. We didn't hear from him for a year. Rick got arrested. Something about drugs. Sarah got a new boyfriend, who i think also does drugs, as well as she. My poor cousin Jacob is still to young to move out. Well, her boyfriend got his license suspended, and then she got her licence suspended after wraping her car around a tree. She could be in Jail right now, but i really don't know. My cousin Chuck? Haven't heard from him in years. Last time I saw his face was in the newspaper. he was wanted for car theft. My aunt sarah and my mom share a passionate hate for each other.
My family is very messed up. I'd like to think we all love each other, but I know it's not true. It makes me very pissed and very angry to think that this is my family.